Greg Stones

What does it mean to be an artist? Well, here’s a thought: WHO CARES? Not me, that’s for sure. You pick up a paint brush, you paint something, and BOOM! You’re an artist. Good for you.

Sure, I could have been a doctor, or a nuclear physicist, or possibly even a toll booth attendant, but a) I’m not that smart, and b) I have no commercially viable skills whatsoever. Except for painting. So here I am.

Born in Glocester, Rhode Island where a man is a man, a woman is a woman, and babies are sent into the forest at the age of six months to be raised and educated by squirrels, I eventually broke free and went to Bates College in Lewiston, Maine. While at school, I majored in Studio Art, learned to paint photo-realistically, and was the cartoonist for the school paper. Two years after graduating, I was barely making a living painting pretty little landscapes, and it occurred to me: What if I combined my pretty little landscapes with my cartooning sensibilities? That’s when I started adding UFOs, aliens, and flying people to my work. Then came the penguins and the zombies. And the sock monkeys and the garden gnomes. And any other random thing that would pop into my head when I sat down to paint.

 A common question: “Greg Stones, where do you get your ideas?”

 From YO MOMMA, that’s where! BOOM! (I just dropped the mic and walked off the stage.)

 In all seriousness, I don’t know where the ideas come from. Although I do suspect that Red Bull is involved. I will have to look into it and get back to you. (Editor’s note: He will never get back to you.)

Here is my favorite thing about being an artist: I get to write and illustrate books. In 2012, Chronicle Books published my title Zombies Hate Stuff, and since then they have also published Penguins Hate Stuff, Zombies Have Issues, Sock Monkeys Have Issues, Ninjas Have Issues, and Garden Gnomes Have Issues. My books are in Barnes & Noble, on Amazon, and occasionally at used bookstores, which makes me very sad, because who didn’t want my book anymore?? (Probably someone who is dead inside, that's who. So there.)

Well, that’s all I have to say about being an artist and an author and a man who was raised by squirrels. (Little known fact: Acorns are DELICIOUS!)

- Greg Stones

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